A Midnight Telenovela

As I lie in bed, the darkness surrounding me feels like a black hole, infinitely expanding as it sucks me in. The dark is truly two-faced and can turn on you in seconds. Sometimes I lay in the darkness of the night without even the moonlight breaking through its black sheet, feeling calm in its vast expansion, almost like the whole world just drifted away. Other times it is not so kind, almost taunting even, as it leaves you to your own demise.

Tonight, I lay here with my eyes closed, pleading for sleep to overtake me. If only a desperate plea was all it took...

As I lay with my eyes closed I can feel my heart pounding as though it is trying to escape from my chest, my chest now tightening to combat it. My mind, my own demise, plays games with me tonight like a toxic partner. Here's an idea...why don't we take every last thing we are stressed about and think about all of them at the same time, then think about every last thing that could go wrong and see what happens? Sure, that sounds like fun! My anxious mind instantly creates an entire Telenovela of my life and replays it like a soundtrack that got stuck on repeat. I open my eyes and see nothing, the darkness is not so kind tonight. I desperately search with my foot for my dog hiding under the covers, he's there... thank god...I take deep breaths to calm myself and close my eyes again, round 2? WHAM! Like turning on your car in the morning when you forgot to lower the volume on the radio after your jam session the night before. The thoughts are back, racing back, did someone hit fast forward on the Telenovela? Please turn it off!

I open my eyes again, this time forfeiting the idea that I might get some decent rest tonight, and begin to write this blog.

To my anxious readers...

Your's truly, AA